The Squits

Terrible diarrhea that takes the form of a chunky, hot liquid gushing from your anus. May be caused by a horrific stomach bug, killer disease or vindaloo. Often accompanied by stomach cramps and a sinking feeling of hopelessness. Not to be confused with explosive diarrhea which erupts with force, the squits are more of a steady trickle. If you have the squits you will need to confine yourself to the toilet for at least 24 hours armed with a good supply of toilet paper, some Gatorade (for rehydration purposes) and some porno to stop yourself getting bored during the long shitting sessions.